what men want?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“According to a study cited in the MailOnline “most men want a traditional wife”.  When a list of priorities were listed what is obvious is that  men want a domestic servant rather than a partner.  You know after much thought, I cannot blame them.  I would love someone to do all of the cooking, cleaning and child care.  I would love for someone to cater to my every single whim simply because I was blessed to born with a vagina.  Why shouldn’t I be entitled to that kind of gender worship?

Imagine a world where being born with a uterus coded the body with unearned privileges.  What would it be like to know that my sex meant that not only am I a  person of value, but that my words would hold weight when I chose to speak?  Consider for a moment what it would be like to be immediately deferred to as a rational voice of reason, based on the assumption that all women are naturally calm and thoughtful individuals.   Imagine a world wherein female where not a pejorative.  The fact that the number one thing a woman wanted in a mate was the ability to listen speaks volumes about how we value men and women.”

that comes from Womanist Musings, and i just love all the irony jam-packed into those first few paragraphs she writes in response…  can you hear it?  she’s oozing out some, “oh, wouldn’t it be nice,” to the patriarchy, that’s what i hear.  because if you start reading that with half your brain you might think, ” what is she talking about?  it’d be nice, but that’s not how it is…”
and then you realise, when she says, “Consider for a moment what it would be like to be immediately deferred to as a rational voice of reason, based on the assumption that all women are naturally calm and thoughtful individuals,” that’s how the average white male not only Expects to be treated but Gets treated.

however, when i read “listens to what i say,” i wasn’t thinking kind compassionate partner who listens.  i was thinking quiet submissive partner who obeys when i speak.  maybe i mis-read the data, but, unfortunately, that says something about women too.
i’m reading rob bell’s sex god right now, and he talks about the whole biblical husband/wife submission paradox.  to keep it short, he says that it’s not supposed to be a control game, which is what reality has turn it into; it’s supposed to be this deep mutual sacrifice where both partners submit to each others’ needs and wants based on love and selflessnes.  wouldn’t it be nice?
the point is, if “listens to what i say” doesn’t imply “‘i like a good listener,’ says joe from rochester,” and it means “i want a mate who will obey me when i command,” then the fact that the number one thing women want in a man says a lot about the reality of the control battle — and the lack of control women have in relationships.

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