this is appropriate.

last night i got told by a gay friend of mine that bisexuals don’t exist and if they do it’s a manifestation of selfishness.
that was the straw that broke the camel on his way to write this poem’s back.


let me explain something about humanity

and don’t take my word for it

because i got back up from my brother in psychology, Kinsey

but the truth about everybody

present today

is that inside of us we all have a capacity

for bisexuality


don’t tell me i’m wrong

because i know what i see

the research has been done

and evidence analysed

and the scientific community

is in agreement with me


let me explain.


men, every time you look at another boy’s muscles and say

damn i wish that were me

it may not be sexual, remotely,

but you’re checkin him out clearly

and there’s an attraction to that, see?


and women

we are guilty still more

because every time we compare

our butts and breasts

our worsts and bests

we are looking other girls

up and down

the fact is we are attracted to and wish to emulate


perhaps not infinitely
as in not all ways emotionally and physically


but guys


it’s there

and it’s not just me


in the past few weeks, you see,

i have been told many things about

my own sexuality

and i understand each is entitled to her opinion

and i’ve been taught the difference

between assumption and interpretation

but i’ve got to explain the difference

between my mind and my creation


sunday night

my gay-as-the-day is long brother

detailed to me

how if and only if bisexuals exist

it is because of their innate selfishness

he said

we want what we want and we want it all

and even though i adore this man

i was appalled


i understand i am a selfish human being

but that does not explain

why i sit in between

all genders, all sexes,

all shapes, colours, sizes to be seen

i don’t want the spectrum

but i see the divine in everything

furthermore, men and women in this house

i don’t need both sets of genitalia

(if we’re talking binary)

to be pleased

to be quite honest

what’s inside your pants

does not matter to me


and if anything

this negates my selfish nature

because i have evolved or matured

or more, been created

into someone

with the capacity

not only for bisexuality

because what happens in between the sheets

is between him or her and me

but also for a deep love

of anybody


i have been told

i can not have it both ways

and see, to me, that’s pretty funny

because i don’t want it both ways

i’m not a polygamist

i’m not an advocate for free love, sorry

never been in a three-way

i don’t want to hold two hands all day


i have been told

one day when i Choose

like i must

there will be a lack of commitment

and a degradation of trust

that i will constantly yearn

for what i have forsaken

again, that i can not have it both ways

i must be straight

or i must be a lesbian


let me tell you, though,

i will fall for some heart out there

just one, gendered sexed being

and i will still be just as queer

but my devotion

will still be valid

and don’t dare tell me

i can not remain faithful to one person

simply because

i am attracted to a wide variety of people


you hets and homos out there

must also have a wide variety of

emotional and sexual pulls

but if you don’t marry a man or woman

who is tall and blonde

with a big dick or tits, respectively

that won’t disable you

from loving your short brunette partner

who some believe to be lacking

and if that love is there

none of that shit will never force you to

leave him or her


the kicker in these conversations

i have been having

was the man who told me

or lectured me, rather,

that i am not abiding by

the natural law of



he told me

this blue-eyed boy

to whom i was doing my

sexist best to play coy

he told me

the problem with my outlook on life

is that i am hunting for

both a husband And a wife


his exact words, my friends and foes:

“you are different because

you want to hunt alone”

which i took to mean

i am in some way less attractive and sick

destined never to fit

into his version of women

because i won’t be tracked down or won like them

yet, never to be what he thinks of as lesbian

because i can’t just join the packs of men

hunters can’t be hunted, he added in


now, what i shoulda said

before going down on that boy with brain so bright but dead


excuse me, honey,

but you ain’t no lion

and i ain’t no gazelle for you to chase across the prairie land

and i don’t need you to go slaughter me dinner

because i understand that there will be

less tension between me and my partner

if neither of us is labeled

the bread-winner


i am not sick, dear,

i simply look both ways

we bisexuals, we’re simply queer

and that explains what I think of humanity

so for those of you who don’t believe

in this unicorn called bisexuality

well look at me

i embody that mythical creature you rarely see

and because of that blessing

while you say

no, there is no bisexuality

i disagree entirely

i believe there is no such thing

as monosexualit


look both ways

i just remembered inter-library loan exists and about threw a party.
the books coming from OSU came in the quickest, being poetry as insurgent art by laurence ferlinghetti, and look both ways: bisexual politics by jennifer baumgardener (who, i read, dated The amy ray who is half of The lesbian folk band the indigo girls).
naturally, this is about the bisexual politics book.

i think this book SO incredibly timely.  the thing (well, one of them) about bisexuality is that people don’t believe it exists.  and if they do, it’s seen as some sort of confusion or as if the bi person is flawed.  ask your average 20-something male; if he’d be okay with dating a bi girl it’s simply because men often see lesbianism as some mystical treasure, only so attractive as it remains unattainable.  don’t even deny it.  people chase what they can’t have, and men have been trained their entire lives that their role is hunter.  the fiercer they have to hunt, the more manly they feel.  lesbians are the most elusive creature.  bisexual girls, however, are some mad mix of that lesbian they can’t have and a straight target they can achieve, earn.
that’s the exception, however unfortunate that is.
i don’t really understand Why straight men are wary of bisexual girls.  i can’t even really theorise, except i was recently told, “men want to hunt.  and you want to hunt like the men, which is one thing, but you also want to hunt alone.”  yeah, it’s kind of sexist babble, trust me, i know.  but i think what he meant was a lesbian can hunt in the pack with the men.  she’s aggressive and it’s okay.  but if a girl wants to hunt men And women, she’s going to be hunting alone because the men won’t want to hunt with a girl who’s hunting them back.  he meant bisexuality goes against nature because it isn’t choosing a natural role to abide by.
(he doesn’t realise that a girl could choose to fill a certain role all the time, finding people of each gender to that fit the other role.  that’s not my style though.)

i’m hoping this book talks about that awful catch-22.  for me, it’s validation.  for me it’s someone in the academic and social world saying, “look, bisexuality is no myth.  we’re not confused, we’re not damaged, we’re not going to choose one side or the other eventually.  this is real and valid and to be take seriously.”

i’ll keep you updated.