look both ways

i just remembered inter-library loan exists and about threw a party.
the books coming from OSU came in the quickest, being poetry as insurgent art by laurence ferlinghetti, and look both ways: bisexual politics by jennifer baumgardener (who, i read, dated The amy ray who is half of The lesbian folk band the indigo girls).
naturally, this is about the bisexual politics book.

i think this book SO incredibly timely.  the thing (well, one of them) about bisexuality is that people don’t believe it exists.  and if they do, it’s seen as some sort of confusion or as if the bi person is flawed.  ask your average 20-something male; if he’d be okay with dating a bi girl it’s simply because men often see lesbianism as some mystical treasure, only so attractive as it remains unattainable.  don’t even deny it.  people chase what they can’t have, and men have been trained their entire lives that their role is hunter.  the fiercer they have to hunt, the more manly they feel.  lesbians are the most elusive creature.  bisexual girls, however, are some mad mix of that lesbian they can’t have and a straight target they can achieve, earn.
that’s the exception, however unfortunate that is.
i don’t really understand Why straight men are wary of bisexual girls.  i can’t even really theorise, except i was recently told, “men want to hunt.  and you want to hunt like the men, which is one thing, but you also want to hunt alone.”  yeah, it’s kind of sexist babble, trust me, i know.  but i think what he meant was a lesbian can hunt in the pack with the men.  she’s aggressive and it’s okay.  but if a girl wants to hunt men And women, she’s going to be hunting alone because the men won’t want to hunt with a girl who’s hunting them back.  he meant bisexuality goes against nature because it isn’t choosing a natural role to abide by.
(he doesn’t realise that a girl could choose to fill a certain role all the time, finding people of each gender to that fit the other role.  that’s not my style though.)

i’m hoping this book talks about that awful catch-22.  for me, it’s validation.  for me it’s someone in the academic and social world saying, “look, bisexuality is no myth.  we’re not confused, we’re not damaged, we’re not going to choose one side or the other eventually.  this is real and valid and to be take seriously.”

i’ll keep you updated.

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1 Comment

  1. heather said,

    22 August, 2008 at 12:09 am

    i read a few articles by/about jennifer & her book last year and had saved them all at one point to send to you. i thought you’d like it, and i’m glad you’re reading it.

    you are certainly right that there are a lot of ignorant people out there. all i can recommend to keep yourself from going insane is to find yourself some evolved queers. (hahaha. you know what i mean.) it is so nice.


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